![]() Brad points out that where safety is not an issue, distance is a neglect of our duty to strive for unity in our relationships ( Matthew 5:23-26).Ĥ. In this case our anger allows us to dissolve relationships or damage them in order to self-protect. Distance: This is a type of anger that responds to others by means of avoidance, intentional isolation, or the creation of physical and/or emotional space between two or more parties. It is the most obvious and easily identifiable form of anger.ģ. ![]() It is the dramatic and intense physical and verbal manifestation of our anger. Active Aggression: This is the sort of “classic anger” that we usually think of. At that time I needed to see the ways in which his anger had simply shifted, become more hidden, and I needed to help Dean see it too.Ģ. He wasn’t punching windows, but he wasn’t really addressing his anger either. He grumbled and complained about everything, he hated others and avoided them, and he kept a mental log of every wrong that his spouse committed against him. Dean was learning to express himself in more socially acceptable ways, but he was still very angry. We can help people learn to control their responses, but never really find transformation in their hearts. But anger comes in many forms and wise counselors must be willing to see the varied manifestations of anger if they are going to be truly helpful. When we think of anger we tend to think of people who yell and scream, or who throw things, punch and kick, and are generally violent-either verbally or physically. ![]() We tend to reduce anger to the sort of classic aggression which manifests a temper with dramatic physical demonstrations (i.e., things like punching car windows). To truly help angry people, we have to understand the variety of manifestations of anger. I was excited until I realized that while he wasn’t punching windows any more, he wasn’t any less of an angry person. Over the course of five months, we worked through many issues and I was delighted to discover that he was learning to control his responses better. He had tried to break a car window and found it rather resistant. The cast cover his right hand was part of the evidence. The first time Dean (not his real name) came to see me it was pretty obvious that he had a temper.
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